Strong women, like espresso and a good stiff drink are not for the faint of heart... and what I am learning is there are a lot of men who are not up to the challenge but profess to be "manly" men. So why, when given the opportunity to be strong, direct and dare I say -- clear -- with these "strong women," do they run away (often screaming in a high pitched voice and flailing their arms)? C'mon -- finally you have someone who can take it (and dish it out)...someone who might even enjoy a good verbal (and perhaps, physical) joust -- what gives?
I'll tell you what gives... and keeps on giving... the "helpless, sexy chick" persona. How do I know this? I did a test (don't try this at home).
Control Group A: Gal dates a guy and behaves her normal, charming, witty, intelligent and wonderful self. They talk, smile and laugh for hours and hours and demonstrate the verbal and physical signs of two humans interested in each other. Political, societal and personal conversation ensues...what doesn't ensue? Dinner and a second date. Sorry, contestant # 1 -- you ARE STRONG, SMART AND SCARE HIM!
Control Group B: Gal dates a guy and behaves in a slightly different mode. Although still her wonderful self, less smarts and more cleavage is exhibited. Laughter abounds, at everything HE SAYS...and she dummies down the conversation to Britney's documentary and challenges of said cleavage when you are trying to do yoga...and "oh yeah -- didn't like Osama just win the election or something?" Angels sing on high, little hearts (and other things) swim around his very being...he is in lust. Add in a couple of suggestive texts and gal is asked out for second date. Success! Actually no -- not success.
This is a little nuts...but it is a social experiment so I justify it in the name of science.That said, the American Journal of Pathetic Dating wants to publish the results of my experiment but I decline...much like I declined Bachelor #2.
I polled some very splendid specimens of the female persuasion who happen to be friends of mine (no bias involved I assure you). Want to know what seems to be a common theme? Perfectly SWELL guys who are totally intimidated by these gals...or maybe just lazy. What is it? Fear of rejection? An aversion to female fabulosity? Love of lonely nights? Or perhaps, she should not have made the first move. Ahhhhh, there's the rub! For when the gal makes the first move she is quickly put into the "strong" category. "Eeeeeek" he cries. "I can take leprosy but not strength!!!!!!" Or is it as simple as, dating takes a lot of work...you need to invest of your time and self -- it is rarely "KAPOW" in your face in the first five minutes...it takes time and energy...and quite often you have to get off the couch (well, sometimes).
Brothers, please take my advice: life is way too short...grab the smart, sexy, strong girl and don't let go...and if you are REALLY lucky...she might even have good cleavage and know the president-elect's actual name and when he takes office. How scary is that?
Strong and (not-so) silently yours,
Andy
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4 comments:
What are you doing at ML? You should be working on a book or something. Or maybe writing for Vogue. You can be the next Carrie Bradwshaw! Maybe you are it has been so long since we last spoke. Didn't Carrie and the girls battle this question on the show? I think this is where you should try European men - it has worked for me. :) Yes I am with a different one. It is wonderful. I definitely can be as strong as I can be - and sometimes even too much. Come on over to Europe - you will have greater success I promise! :)
This post is priceless. The problem is that men want to be in control, and any challenge to that offends them. On another note, I've seen this with the mo's - maybe I'll have to give this experiment a try myself.
Hey Ray...funny you should mention that -- I am not at ML -- and you hit the nail on the head regarding here I am now (well, sorta kinda)! Shhhhhhhhh....
Rich -- if you conduct the experiment, promise me you'll let me report on it!!!!!!!!! xo
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