- Nearly 45 years since my mother gave birth to...well, me.
- 24 years since I graduated college (I was 10 and a genius...ok, it was worth a shot).
- Seven years since the love-of-my-life-turned-you-know-what-of-a-fiance walked (not down the aisle -- thankfully, actually).
- One year since I lost the real man that mattered in my life (my dad).
- Nine years since I started at the prestigious Merrill Lynch (a company I thought I would retire from).
- Eleven days since Merrill ceased to exist (as we say in Italian -- disgraziata!).
- Five days since my last date with a really great guy with potential.
- Two days since my cancelled date with really great (well-not-so-much-really) guy.
- Three hours since same guy called to apologize and was reinstated to really great guy status.
- And way too long since my last post.
But here's the deal -- 2009 is a powerful number and despite economic collapses, rising unemployment, men who are, well, men ...and all the other uglies this world offers up too readily -- it is a time to be hopeful. And I am. And if you are going to be friends with me...you better get yourself on board...imagine this world if we were...dare I say it? Happy? Do you know what a formidable force we'd be? Staggering really.
I was talking with one of my beautiful friends about new year's resolutions and in joking (actually, I was quite serious) I said that I was ready for 2009 and armed with guns blazing...I was attacking life and wasn't going to take any prisoners. I mean it. At nearly 45 I have decided that there is no way-no how-no chance that I am going to live any aspect of my life "afraid" to: do something, be me, say what I want to say, love the way I want to love, or find the love I want but more importantly -- deserve. No prisoners...got it? (I actually scare myself which in a way is breaking my resolution.)
My beautiful friend agreed, adding "once you are happy, the rest just falls into place...we need to be happy and take chances." Smart gal (duhhhh, that's why we're friends, c'mon!)
Take chances...what's the worst that could happen? Sure, someone might blog about it [sinister laugh]...but someone may also revel in it (and that someone may be you).
As much as I am not a fan of John Mayer (although I do believe he wrote "Your body is a wonderland" about me), I was listening to the radio while driving and noticed that the lyrics of one of his songs was spot on...
"Take all of your wasted honor. Every little past frustration. Take all of your so called problems, better put 'em in quotations. Say what you need to say. Walkin' like a one man army, fightin' with the shadows in your head. Livin' up the same old moment. Knowin' you'd be better off instead. If you could only...Say what you need to say. Have no fear for givin' in. Have no fear for giving over.You better know that in the end. It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.Even if your hands are shaking, and your faith is broken. Even as the eyes are closin', do it with a heart wide open."
...and that my friends, is what I needed to say...
Happy 2009...it's going to be a lot better than you think.
xo, Andy
4 comments:
I must say Andy truer words have not been spoken. 2009 is going to be a wild ride of take no prisoners and finally saying all that is important to us. No matter how scarey that may seem to me now.... Glad to see that we are on the same page and that our chats ring true...keep blogging!!!!
Wow, Rula, you should write a column for a woman's magazine! I LOVE John Mayer and especially that song...hope to see you soon paisano!
Very well said. I am in the same place. That makes me feel so calm knowing that I am not alone in my thinking. Take no prisoners!
Andy,
I applaud your attitude. I hope I don't get flamed because I see this blog is an all girl show :)
Anyway. I had the pleasure to work with you and always admired your presence. You're a fantastic person, as I see in your blog, very deep.
I think that people always have a choice to feel bad and let that feeling define them. Others rise to the occasion and use it to stimulate them into great things. Your "take no prisoners" attitude speaks of that. Be in control and live life. If it fails at least you know you did it your way... So in turn, it can't fail. The only failure is to live life according to predefined templates and hating it.
I do believe that believing in one self, having the satisfaction and self love of doing all that is possible to make yourself happy will lead you in positive steps to that conclusion.
Life is a road, someone said. Enjoy the journey. Don't worry about the destination.
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